Fettuccine Alfredo

Let me begin by telling you how much I HATE the Olive Garden. I don't usually start my posts with rants, but last night I had the absolute worst meal of my life from them. So this is my way of telling every other foodie out there why they should avoid that place at all costs. I ordered the chicken alfredo, a 14 dollar meal no less, which ordinarily wouldn't have bothered me had it not tasted like a cheap, frozen microwaveable meal. No, wait. I take that back. The chicken tasted like a cheap, frozen microwaveable meal, only worse. I'm not exaggerating. Oh and the best part of the wretched meal? The alfredo sauce, a tasteless, cheeseless watery disgrace to all alfredo sauces. For that kinda meal I could have popped open a jar of ragu and been ten times happier. I sure as hell wouldn't have complained about it the next day.

Most of you have probably encountered just as disappointing meals in your lifetime, and the braver of you have probably had the waiter take them back. Well, I would have done just that had our waiter appeared at our table more than one freaking time in the hour we stayed there. We didn't even get refills on our water and it took him forever to bring out our salad and breadsticks, after asking if we wanted salad and breadsticks, 15 minutes after we were seated. Seriously, dude???  They are complementary, you don't ask you just bring them out! How the hell do you keep your job??? Sorry. That was insensitive of me. I'm just mad that they have the audacity to charge as much as they do for food that you can make yourself at home, but a million times better. I'm also mad that they have so many locations for a restaurant that has no idea what real Italian food should taste like.

So here it is, fettuccine alfredo. The good stuff. The real stuff.

This recipe is adapted from the Pioneer Woman's fettuccine alfredo. Upon researching different recipes I stumbled upon hers and having heard only good things about her (except for all those websites dedicated to dissing and hating on her, what gives peeps??) so I decided to give it a whirl. Boy, did it live up to the hype. But I've gotta say, if you're making this don't expect it to heat up as good the next day. This is best, piping hot the first day. Also, the recipe has a load of butter and cream, but you can always substitute for low-fat butter and such. Just remember, every now and again it's ok to splurge and use the fattening, good stuff.

Fettuccine Alfredo
Recipe adapted from the Pioneer Woman's Fettuccine alfredo

• 1 Ib fettuccine noodles
• 2 cups parmesan cheese
• 1/4 cup mozzarella cheese
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 1 stick butter
• 1 Tbs minced garlic
• salt and pepper to taste

Begin by boiling 6 cups of water for your fettuccine noodles. Cook pasta 10-12 minutes or until al dente. (note: begin cooking pasta as soon as you begin melting the butter.) In a medium-sized saucepan, melt 1 stick of butter on medium-low.

Once the butter has melted, pour in the heavy cream and whisk together. Add salt, pepper, the minced garlic and whisk again. Let it heat up to a slight simmer, or about 5 minutes when it gets good and hot.

In a large bowl, pour 1/2 the parmesan and 1/2 the mozzarella and mix together. Add the cream sauce and let sit a minute or two. Drain your pasta, reserving a 1/4 of a cup of the starchy water in a small measuring cup. Now, pour the hot pasta into the bowl with the cream and cheese and pour the remaining cheeses on top.

Toss together pasta and cheese/cream until evenly distributed. Use a tiny bit of the starch water to thin out alfredo sauce if it is too thick. Serve hot and enjoy! Makes 4-6 servings.