I had a bit of a kitchen catastrophe today, one based on a combination of excitement, determination, and just a smidge of stupidity. Ok, maybe more than a smidge.
Earlier today I was having some serious cookie cravings. And not for any ordinary cookie, either. I really wanted to make those chewy cocoa cookies, the ones that taste more like brownies than cookies. What I didn't know was how to go about making them. So I did my research and stumbled across a few versions of this shiny, crackled, flourless cocoa cookie, one that looked so amazingly good and easy. The only problem was the recipe called for a few egg whites, and since I had no intention of leaving yolks sitting around in my fridge for a week, I decided to use those somehow too.
And what better dessert to use them for than key lime pie? Omg, I cannot explain the goodness that is key lime pie, especially the Edwards brand they sell in single slices at the supermarket. (I went through a phase where I bought two of those every week, along with Stouffer's mac & cheese, my other guilty pleasure.) I've been meaning to make one this week anyway, so I figured today was as good a day as any, right?
WRONG. VERY WRONG. Note to self: Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery when your in a state of dessert delirium, with chocolate and pie and cinnamon rolls dancing around in your head. You will hurt yourself, very, very badly.
Ok, so I wasn't operating a forklift or anything. I was opening a can of sweetened condensed milk, the ones with the pull tab that are supposed to make your life easier. What happened next was out of a horror movie. For me, at least. Apparently, I pulled the pull tab too hard because it got stuck and somehow ended up slicing open my right index finger knuckle nearly to the bone. I screamed bloody murder and threw the can of milk in the sink, then wrapped a kitchen towel around my finger to stop the blood bath. I'm not gonna lie, I got a bit woozy for a moment because I thought I needed stitches, it was bleeding so badly, and I almost cried. This was in a span of 30 seconds. It was awful, terrifying, and above all, simply stupid. If I was paying more attention, I would have noticed that the lid was really stuck, and then would have used a can opener, no problem. But I didn't do that, I instead wound up injuring myself all for the sake of a stupid key lime pie which, guess what? Turned out tasting like crap thanks to the fact that there wasn't nearly enough lime juice in it, and I ended up mixing the whole concoction in a glass bowl that had cheese stuck to it thanks to our lovely dishwasher. I guess my blood loss caused me not to notice that.
As for my flourless cocoa cookies??? Let's just say I'd rather not talk about it...
So for now, I will leave you with this bit of advice...Pay attention in the kitchen, always. Use a can opener when necessary. And when all else fails, make s'mores. Just wait until the fiance gets home to roast the marshmallows.
- 4 graham cracker squares
- 1 Hershey bar, broken in two squares